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Do we see ourselves? 539 360 monity

Do we see ourselves?

Do we see yourselves?

When you look in the mirror do you see your whole beautiful self or do you see the fracture flaws?

There was a time when I looked in the mirror and only saw the broken pieces of myself. I saw the shame and the flaws. It was rare I saw myself smile. Laughing at myself was not possible because nothing about me brought me joy.

The illusion of who we are runs incredibly deep. We are input with information that programs how we see ourselves. From the movie, we watch to the music we sonically digest. It all shapes the representative that we show ourselves.

Most people only believe there is only the representative we show others, but there is one other that we see in the mirror. It is a shadow of our true selves. Once in a while, we see the truth, but mostly we spend our time covering up the scars and pain. Believing one more lip color will hide the trauma.

And although there are many stories we see around us, it’s the story we tell ourselves that is most detrimental to our self-esteem and self-worth.

If you read my last post you understood the shame that cloaked me. This cloak burned through my self-worth. I was accepting a life I thought I deserved. It was unreal when the veil lifted. Once the veil was lifted then was I allowed healing my heart.

Looking in the mirror became a great challenge. I challenged myself to look at myself deeply and see past the gremlins in my head. You know the ones who say you are not good enough.

I had to tell those bishes to have a seat so I could reconnect with my worth and esteem. It was a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. The realization that I survived and tough life and I was still here. A life that is unimaginable to many. The understanding that hiding it was hindering my emotional growth.

This was not a change process, it was a remembering process. Remembering I was created with love. A divine love that no one or circumstance could take away from me. My brown skin, my crooked smile, my short nappy hair, and my country laugh.

The bible said we were divinely fashioned in our mother’s womb and It was time to realize it was true. Believing that we are divinely created is a path I recommend to everyone. Understand it from your soul and in your reflection.

It was my path to looking in the mirror and seeing a reflection of joy and worthiness.

I still have my challenges but through patience and radical self-love, I finally see past the representative and see my soul.

Monica Wisdom
Founder, Black Women Amplified

Shedding Shame 604 401 monity

Shedding Shame

Shedding Shame

There was a time in my life when I was consumed with shame. I didn’t know what to call it but the was constantly there. It emulated a wall around my life and at times prevented me from moving forward or deeper in relationships.

I never wanted people to find out about my secret. My secret had nothing to do with me but represented things that were done to me. And because I could not separate myself from my shame, I appeared shy and quiet. Shame had indeed silenced me.

I often felt like I lived in three worlds. My public life, my home life, and the life inside of my head. Public life was filled with great adventures, creating opportunities, and traveling the world. I life I presented everyone, while true, was just part of the story. It became my refuge and a place of solitude. As odd as it sounds, my workaholic nature was the place I could replace the hard realities of home.

It wasn’t beyond me to have at least three projects or jobs going at a time. When people read my bio, it reads like a pick your adventure book. From working in the music industry, the fields of cosmetology to the publishing industry. Yes, I have a curious nature but some of my motivation was not wanting to go home in different parts of my life. Homelife was where the silence was. I was where my childhood haunted me and the gremlins in my head siked me out of any success that was being had in public life.

Some call it imposter syndrome, but I call it shame. Because the monsters I was fighting off were incredibly real. Memories of abuse, death, and sadness lead me to the belief that nothing I was accomplished in Public Life was deserved. And one day I would be found out. Not that I was a fraud and didn’t belong there but that truth of my whole life would be exposed.

Back in the day, “Tell your Truth’, was not a thing. My other always told me to ‘keep home at home. So anything that went on inside of our home was a secret to the outside world. And that meant to everyone including family.

That’s when I learned how to hide in plain sight. I learned how to maneuver my conversation away from me and engage a person while never speaking about myself. It was a narcissist dream.

Reconciling my life was a great challenge. I desperately wanted to be able to give my full self to my friends and companions. It was a great challenge that continues.

At 33, I began a great spiritual sojourn after traditional therapy failed. I’ll save that for a whole other post. It consisted of a series of teachers, gurus, experimental learning, coaching, and sister circles. After a year of examination of my life, I can honestly say that shame is no longer my shield. Though he lingers here and there, I have begun sharing more chapters of my life with great vulnerability and openness.

This also came from putting in the work to heal years of abuse and trauma. Not only healing but sharing my story with those I loved most. Just the other day, I told a friend who I’ve known for almost 30 years about my life as a preteen. It is apart of my life I am still grappling with. But it is indeed my truth. I also shared with him my journey of release and forgiveness which is important in the process of accepting yourself.

It seems the more I tell my story, the more my heart heals and shame continues to dissipate. This is why I do not subscribe to the ideas of imposter syndrome because my life is indeed real.

It was the decision to take the time to discover myself that allowed me to shed my shame and share myself completely. Though I am still a private person, I feel enriched being able to be myself no matter where I am. That is freedom.

Monica Wisdom,

Founder, Black Women Amplified

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One night on Clubhouse 1080 720 monity

One night on Clubhouse

I have been on Clubhouse, the new audio app, for about 6 week. Overall it has been a great experience. I have met some really cool people how I promise would have never met. From across the world I have met business people, film makers, princesses and shamans.

Each room presents a different experience and most of all we get to connect on a soul level. I feel like my tribe is getting bigger and better.

I have also found new textures of my voice as I am expressing more of who I am. From whimsical conversation, much needed laughter to healing and shedding tears. Experiencing a range of emotions and exploring my varied interests has been remarkable.

But I have also had some not great experiences that offered deep moments of reflection and self-understanding. I have not only had to gather others but I have had to gather myself and restructure my boundaries. I will share those stories on my podcast.

I have also had some very vulnerable conversations about racism. And there is plenty of everything on the app from sexism to misogamy. There is no more hiding behind curated photos or cute snap backs on twitter. With audio there in no faking who you are. Your character becomes front and center. The soul hears everything.

I went into a spirituality room and was excited to hear some cool folks talk about some cool stuff. But instead I heard a lot of gentrified indigenous practices which were ego centered on individuals feeling good. As I was listening, I could feel my triggers going off. I don’t know if it was spirit telling me to get out of the room or the ancestors telling me to say something. It was just weird. Finally I felt my mouth open and what happened next, I don’t remember fully but here is what I do remember.

One of the moderators on Clubhouse was explaining how he no longer wanted to be a slave to debt. And he continued to say the word slave and my bells kept going off. I began by saying that as someone who is from the lineage of people who used to be currency that the biggest debt this country owes is to black women.

I shared with him and the room (in short form) that until this country takes care of black Women that is will never be healed. Mother Earth will not be well until the people she entrusted to birth humanity are taken care of fully. Until then fired and uprisings will still continue.

We were bought sold and traded like cars and animals. And as long as women are dying in child birth at the highest rates then everyone will continue to be in debt because the biggest debt owned is to Black women. Mother Earth entrusted Black Women to birth humanity. As long as humanity continues to oppress the harm the true leaders ,we are to follow, their children and communities, the earth will never heal form this pain and humanity will continue to implode.

I don’t remember what else I said because I zoned but that’s what I remember.

The room got silent and about half if the people left. I was sad to see the room clear but truth is heard to hear for those who are not ready to hear it.
This moment reminded me that it is important for me house my voice in spaces I am not often invited too. And that is the great thing about Clubhouse, I was invited. Now it is my responsibility to move the conversation forward through truth and power.

Many Blessing,

MonicaWisdom
Founder, Black Women Amplified

this nation 150 150 monity

this nation

We are at a crossroads in our nation after people stormed the capital chile. People ask how did we get here? Really? As if mods of angry white men have not caused harm and destruction in this country before.

What this firmly highlights is that when certain groups of folks talk about this nation, they are not including Black folks, Latin folk, Indigenous folks or Asian folks. Only the white vote matters. And this was an attempt to erase all of us. And it is imperative we unite in order to move our country forward in a way that is inclusive and empowering to all communities. But before unity can happen, White folks must have a long reckoning amongst themselves.

I really don’t have much to say about this that has not already been said, but I do feel that is important to day that the evolution of this country stopped for some people in 1950 and others of us are ready to progress to 2050. Our only question is what year are you fighting for?

I’ll take 2050 for $500 Alex.

Monica Wisdom,
Founder, Black Women Amplified

It’s hard to say goodbye to Kobe 150 150 monity

It’s hard to say goodbye to Kobe

What a tragedy! The loss of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi and the other people who lost their lives in such a horrific accident. It has sent the world into a daze with the loss of one of it’s greatest heroes.

Now I have to admit up front that I am not into sports as much as my counterparts, but I do appreciate the work and sacrifice that it takes to be a champion. Especially devoting twenty years to a jobs that you love. He took Jordan’s game to the next level and forged his own path into the hearts and minds of generations to come.

My heart goes out to his wife Vanessa, his three daughter and family. Though I can’t imagine what she is going through, I know she knows that the community is surrounding her with love and protection.

The protection squad is out in full force and up front after and interview that Gayle King is with WMBA star Lisa Leslie, Kobe’s longtime friend. Gayle asked about Kobe’s case ( you can google it) and the interwebverse went into hive mode and headed straight for Gayle.

Now I think Gayle was wrong. I think the question could have been asked to Kobe and that Leslie did not deserve the weight of that question. The question itself is layered and complicated. But to ask in the mist of a grieving process was way out of pocket. And sometimes you have to pick family over job. Yes, Gayle has a job to do but a journalist with her level of power can choose how she frames her interviews. She is not a junior reporter of a local station nor is she not Auntie Gayle, Oprahs best friend. What ever you may think of them they are the Grand Dames of the black community. Now we are questioning if they actually deserve those places in our heart. How ever we examine these questions for ourselves, threats are never acceptable.

Personally, I did not like the questions nor did I think it was the right time for the questions. Kobe has not been laid to rest and there is just a time when you have to respect the dead. Many argument, discussions and perspective have gone around the globe about this situation and honestly that is not the point of my commentary on the subject.

I really believe that there is a bigger conversation that us as a black community need to have. That conversation is about how we deal with our pain and grief.

After my initial WTF moment I had to sit back and examine my thoughts on this. And although I am incredible disappointed in Gayle I also realize that she is a black woman and still deserves to be protected. She fucked up but what is also fucked up is this cancel culture. What ever we thought about Kobe’s case we allowed him to redeem himself and move forward with the community support.

Everyone deserves the space for redemption. Now we may let you stay over there on time out for a long time but we will watch your moves to see how you move in the future. That’s just truth.

Now to give context on where my thinking is coming from we have to look back to 1965-68 when the voting rights and civil rights acts were passed. We have been in this country for centuries but we have only been full US citizens for 55-56 years. And as a society that I call Black America, we are relatively young. A fifth of the age of the United states itself. Yes, we have been in America longer that the United States has been alive but our collective as free citizens is new.

With any new society and organization we have to grow, create rules, boundaries and evolve. But I don’t know of any society in a matter of 55 years has been able to cultivate and evolve so quickly. We have created our own culture and way of life that encompasses a culmination of many different ways of life that reach all the way back to Africa. But also included the bloodlines of our captures and plantation owners. None of who black people are today is free of our lineage. Nor are we free the pain of our lineage.

The pain of our lineage is breathing strong in our veins. It is a pain that we have yet to deal with because life itself is moving to fast. We just keep pushing forward and look for joy in our life. And one of the greatest joys we have is watching someone like Kobe play a great game. Engaging in sports is bigger that just who won or lost it’s a pattern of success that many want to emulate.

But for Kobe fans he was iconic and a role model. The root of the word father is pattern. And he patterned what the journey looked like for many boys and men who grew up without a father. Kobe is family. No matter if you love him for a moment or for a lifetime he is family. He is the crown prince of black America. And don’t no body say nut-tin’ bout our baby. If you didn’t say it then don’t say it now.

We are grieving. The pain is still fresh our lips. There has not been a funeral or memorial service. Truthfully his wife may only do a memorial service. But we are grieving.

Not only for Kobe but we begin to question our own mortality. We begin to examine our own lives. We sit with more questions than answers. After hearing of Kobe’s death I had to lay down. Lay down in my thoughts recalling where I was when my mother passed, when my father passed and when my brother passed. They were my icons that I had to say goodbye too and keep moving forward.

In moving forward I did not know how to process my pain and grief. I did everything but what to feel it. No one know what to say or do for me. It was hard to find my joy but years later I found it.

It was a long process but I had to face it head on. And as a community, it is time we go through the process of learning how to deal with our pain. This pain and all that came before it.

From my perspective that backlash towards Gayle was partly misdirected grief. And that is something that I can certainly related you. Waking up sad and still have to go to work and instead of dealing with my sadness, somehow during the day it is mutated into anger and it is directed at a someone in my path that has nothing to do with my pain.

Kobe’s death has had a great impact on everyone plus all that is going on in our country has many in an unsettled place. But moving forward we have to learn how to communicate to each other in a better way that is more productive and moves us forwards as a community. I

This beings with dealing with the person in the mirror. Really dealing with your own trauma and loss. We can read books, go to therapy or join a support group. We focus so hard on staying positive but that is not working. We prove that by how easy it is to get shook. Critical thinking is essential but so is healing.

I did not expect this to be so long. Thank you if you got to this line. I really want us all to win and be one united family. And honestly I hope we take all of this unity into the election and use this energy to change everyone’s lives for the better.

Blessings and Light

MonicaWisdom

How are you doing? 275 183 monity

How are you doing?

We are 6-9 months into this pandemic. How is everyone doing?

Nothing about this is normal nothing about this makes sense. We are resilient and we will adapt but these times we must remember that kindness is our new currency.
We have to get through the day, yes, but it’s really time to really evaluate what we want our future to look like.

There is a great shift happening and we get to choose how we will acclimate to it and in it. Acting like tomorrow will ever be like yesterday will leave us frustrate and depressed. Yolo is a thing of the past. We must all really take a deep look at the big picture and determine what the future could actually look like.

God gifted us the power to co-create our like and now it’s time to activate that power. Not for just the things you want but for the works to be better.

As we move into the age of interdependency, it’s important to evaluate what really matters, what you are really passionate about, and how you can elevate your vibration in order to rise above the chaos and live your best life.

It takes foresight, innovation, evaluation, and new thoughts about what is possible.
Tomorrow is not coming back. And honestly, it never has. Remember, no matter what the world says, God is the ultimate voice. Lean into your divine knowing with trust and faith.
Be proactive and activate your better tomorrow.

Ashe’

Monica Wisdom,
Founder, Black Women Amolified

Ryan Coogler and our Black Panther… Chadwick Boseman 1080 540 monity

Ryan Coogler and our Black Panther… Chadwick Boseman

As the world is gathering their feeling surrounding the death of Chadwick Boseman, we are have been eagerly awaiting those who knew him beyond being a fan.

Though I am whole-heartedly a fan of the work of Chadwick, I also admire his place on this planet as a black man. Chadwick crafted acting roles that would honor our legends, fortify his legacy, and inspire us to see ourselves in a powerful way. From playing Jackie Robinson to James Brown, Chadwick had the ability to embody the essence of the person portrayed. His acting was intentional and uncompromising. Chadwick elevated the ideas of masculinity and stood strong in his faith and conviction.

Immensely private, Chadwick passed after a four year battle with colon cancer. Upon being asked on Instagram, Spike Lee let us know that he had no idea what Chadwick was going through as they shot Chadwick’s final movie. Da 5 Bloods, is an epic film about black soldiers returning to Vietnam many years after the world ended. Ironic that he was playing a soldier as he was in the fight for his life. I am incredibly moved to how Chadwick was able to film so many movies in such a short span of time while dealing with cancer.

It’s clear he was on a mission to make art that impacted black people around the globe. Nothing could illustrate it more than his role as T’Challa, the King of Wakanda. Black Panther was a worldwide phenomenon. It broke records and myths. It made 1.3 billion dollars so far and lead to the billion-dollar win game of End Game. The delegation will call Chadwick the multi-billion dollar man. Breaking the myth that the world does not want to see movies starring an all-black cast.

So much I could say about my love and admiration of Chadwick, but hearing the word of folks close to him is much more profound. Ryan Coogler, filmmaker and director of “Black Panther’, shares the warm words of love and stories showcasing Chadwick’s strength and character. We love you, Chadwick. Thank you for using your art to reflect the best of us.

Monica Wisdom, Founder Black Women Amplified

From Ryan Coogler:

Before sharing my thoughts on the passing of the great Chadwick Boseman, I first offer my condolences to his family who meant so very much to him. To his wife, Simone, especially.
I inherited Marvel and the Russo Brothers’ casting choice of T’Challa. It is something that I will forever be grateful for.

The first time I saw Chad’s performance as T’Challa, it was in an unfinished cut of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR. I was deciding whether or not directing BLACK PANTHER was the right choice for me. I’ll never forget, sitting in an editorial suite on the Disney Lot and watching his scenes. His first with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, then, with the South African cinema titan, John Kani as T’Challa’s father, King T’Chaka. It was at that moment I knew I wanted to make this movie. After Scarlett’s character leaves them, Chad and John began conversing in a language I had never heard before. It sounded familiar, full of the same clicks and smacks that young black children would make in the States. The same clicks that we would often be chided for being disrespectful or improper. But, it had a musicality to it that felt ancient, powerful, and African.

In my meeting after watching the film, I asked Nate Moore, one of the producers of the film, about the language. “Did you guys make it up?” Nate replied, “that’s Xhosa, John Kani’s native language. He and Chad decided to do the scene like that on set, and we rolled with it.” I thought to myself. “He just learned lines in another language, that day?” I couldn’t conceive how difficult that must have been, and even though I hadn’t met Chad, I was already in awe of his capacity as actor.

I learned later that there was much conversation over how T’Challa would sound in the film. The decision to have Xhosa be the official language of Wakanda was solidified by Chad, a native of South Carolina, because he was able to learn his lines in Xhosa, there on the spot. He also advocated for his character to speak with an African accent, so that he could present T’Challa to audiences as an African king, whose dialect had not been conquered by the West.

I finally met Chad in person in early 2016, once I signed onto the film. He snuck past journalists that were congregated for a press junket I was doing for CREED, and met with me in the green room. We talked about our lives, my time playing football in college, and his time at Howard studying to be a director, about our collective vision for T’Challa and Wakanda. We spoke about the irony of how his former Howard classmate Ta-Nehisi Coates was writing T’Challa’s current arc with Marvel Comics. And how Chad knew Howard student Prince Jones, who’s murder by a police officer inspired Coates’ memoir Between The World and Me.

I noticed then that Chad was an anomaly. He was calm. Assured. Constantly studying. But also kind, comforting, had the warmest laugh in the world, and eyes that seen much beyond his years, but could still sparkle like a child seeing something for the first time.   

That was the first of many conversations. He was a special person. We would often speak about heritage and what it means to be African. When preparing for the film, he would ponder every decision, every choice, not just for how it would reflect on himself, but how those choices could reverberate. “They not ready for this, what we are doing…” “This is Star Wars, this is Lord of the Rings, but for us… and bigger!” He would say this to me while we were struggling to finish a dramatic scene, stretching into double overtime. Or while he was covered in body paint, doing his own stunts. Or crashing into frigid water, and foam landing pads. I would nod and smile, but I didn’t believe him. I had no idea if the film would work. I wasn’t sure I knew what I was doing. But I look back and realize that Chad knew something we all didn’t. He was playing the long game.  All while putting in the work. And work he did.

He would come to auditions for supporting roles, which is not common for lead actors in big budget movies. He was there for several M’Baku auditions. In Winston Duke’s, he turned chemistry read into a wrestling match. Winston broke his bracelet. In Letitia Wright’s audition for Shuri, she pierced his royal poise with her signature humor and would bring about a smile to T’Challa’s face that was 100% Chad.

While filming the movie, we would meet at the office or at my rental home in Atlanta, to discuss lines and different ways to add depth to each scene. We talked costumes, military practices. He said to me “Wakandans have to dance during the coronations. If they just stand there with spears, what separates them from Romans?” In early drafts of the script. Eric Killmonger’s character would ask T’Challa to be buried in Wakanda. Chad challenged that and asked, what if Killmonger asked to be buried somewhere else?

Chad deeply valued his privacy, and I wasn’t privy to the details of his illness. After his family released their statement, I realized that he was living with his illness the entire time I knew him. Because he was a caretaker, a leader, and a man of faith, dignity and pride, he shielded his collaborators from his suffering. He lived a beautiful life. And he made great art. Day after day, year after year. That was who he was. He was an epic firework display. I will tell stories about being there for some of the brilliant sparks till the end of my days. What an incredible mark he’s left for us.

I haven’t grieved a loss this acute before. I spent the last year preparing, imagining and writing words for him to say, that we weren’t destined to see. It leaves me broken knowing that I won’t be able to watch another close-up of him in the monitor again or walk up to him and ask for another take.

It hurts more to know that we can’t have another conversation, or facetime, or text message exchange. He would send vegetarian recipes and eating regimens for my family and me to follow during the pandemic.  He would check in on me and my loved ones, even as he dealt with the scourge of cancer.

In African cultures, we often refer to loved ones that have passed on as ancestors. Sometimes you are genetically related. Sometimes you are not. I had the privilege of directing scenes of Chad’s character, T’Challa, communicating with the ancestors of Wakanda. We were in Atlanta, in an abandoned warehouse, with bluescreens, and massive movie lights, but Chad’s performance made it feel real. I think it was because, from the time that I met him, the ancestors spoke through him. It’s no secret to me now how he was able to skillfully portray some of our most notable ones. I had no doubt that he would live on and continue to bless us with more. But it is with a heavy heart and a sense of deep gratitude to have ever been in his presence, that I have to reckon with the fact that Chad is an ancestor now. And I know that he will watch over us until we meet again.

-Ryan Coogler

Black Women are the MVP’s! 1080 608 monity

Black Women are the MVP’s!

There is a disturbing phenomenon happening in this country.

Until it is eradicated within our community, we will never truly move forward. I am hearing over and over again that Joe Biden shouldn’t pick a Black woman for Vice President. Because it will ensure a loss.

Black women are known to be the backbone of the Democratic Party. Time and time again we gather the children and head to vote. Not only vote, but at the highest percentage of all who vote for the Democratic Party.

We show up and bring our tribe. We organize, contribute money and, fight for the win. Yet even with insurmountable evidence of our drive and conviction, our abilities are constantly doubted.

In a discussion, someone said that a black woman as VP was just a prop. I responded by saying that you don’t want a prop but it’s ok for us to be a mule. Bell Hooks famously states that Black women are the mules of society and Malcolm X stated that the black woman is the most disrespected in the world.

Both statements are sadly true. Time and time again our needs and ambitions are pushed to the back of the bus. We are told that we should step aside so the best person can get the job. Why isn’t it a possibility that a Black woman is indeed the best person for the job? If we are doing the work of said job then give us the title, position, salary, and power that goes along with the work we are already doing.

The excuse is that white women won’t accept us. Where is the evidence? The two most revered women in the world are Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama. Let’s not forget Beyoncé, Janet, and Rhianna. Who at a moment’s notice could fill stadiums? That is not simply because of music but because of their power to connect with humanity.

Black Women have always understood the depths of this country. We know because we raised everyone in it. From birthing the workforce to being the wet nurse for the plantations owners children. We have spent generations in the shadows contributing to every corner of this nation.

And frankly, I’m fucking sick of it. Who better to address our needs of America than Black Women? Because of our innate disposition of nurturing those around us, we will automatically take care of the community.

The misogyny of it all is exhausting. Constantly being told next time. What about equal pay, next time. What about quality health care, next time. I’m mean how many next times have to pass by before it’s our time? Our time is now.

It’s getting close to the point where we sit this one out. One day you will all look around and wonder what happened, not to us, but this nation. Since y’all so concerned about how others will vote, how about we have a seat and, allow the unseasoned chicken to take over. Don’t worry about us, we will just head to the beaches of New Zealand or where ever The Rock is from and stop giving AF.

Continuing to take black women for granted is a huge mistake. We are the sages of a nation that is in much need of healing. With 98% of Black Women voting for democrats, it is clear that the next phase of the party must include leaders who reflect the base.

We are the heart of the party. If we are not taken care of in a reciprocal manner then this election will fail. Because the Democratic Party wins Black Women rock the fucking vote.

All of our future depends on how the democratic party takes care of us. We are no longer the Help. Treat us like the vital, important Queens we are by choosing a Black Women as Vice President.

Monica,
Founder, Black Women Amplified

Black is King, Black is You 700 467 monity

Black is King, Black is You

The African symbols and symbolism shown in ‘Black Is King’ is where we come from. The propaganda that we come from a savaged land is untrue. We come from the innovators and creators of language, mathematics, science, religion, medicine, and beyond. Slave traders did not kidnap groups of ignorant people, they kidnapped doctors, teachers, healers, religious leaders, Kings, and Queens.

How do you think this country was built? Remember the Colonizers did not teach the Africans and indigenous people how to build this county. They arrived with knowledge of how to build civilizations. For centuries, our ancestors accomplished building nations and civilizations all across the globe. From China to Brazil and everywhere in between you will find Africans within the origin stories of many great nations.

Black as King also hi-lights African Religions. Yoruba, Ifa, and Orishas. Before Christianity was taught, we had our religion. Yoruba is not only a tribe in Africa but a language and belief system. Its root is ancient and has many forms of it all over the world. I learned to speak Yoruba years ago because I wanted to speak the language of my ancestors. Although I have forgotten it I still remember the beauty of it.

Yoruba is beautiful and like any of the indigenous belief systems, it is misunderstood. It is important to learn about it properly and to fully understand it void the ignorant propaganda of others. It’s everywhere around us and it’s all through Beyoncé’s work. The Black Church is rooted in it. Where do you think the term, ‘catching the spirit,’ comes from, or ‘the term speaking in tongue,’ means? The enslaved Africans hid their belief within Christianity to practice without it being detected.

Yep, it’s always been there, the keys to life. You just have to decode it. That is what Beyoncé is doing. Not only in Black Is King and Lemonade, but through all of her work. Beyonce has been studying her roots and sharing what she learns and believes through her music. Just as many artists do.

When you look at her last three works as a trilogy you can experience the full scope and beauty of black culture throughout the diaspora. ‘Lemonade’, ‘Homecoming’, and ‘Black Is King,’ tells a complete story that excludes slavery. I believe the intention is to see ourselves without the elements of bondage. I especially loved the nod to our Native American roots in her final song, ‘Rise.’ Beyonce’ is a great curator of our culture and unapologetically reminds us of who we are in the arc of humanity.

MonicaWisdom,

Founder, Black Women Amplified

Who are those people? 500 333 monity

Who are those people?

Hey Queen,

Have you ever wonder what it meant when the elders told us to be careful of the company we keep? I never really thought much about it until recently. And when I say recently, I mean today.

The older we get our inner circles to get smaller and smaller. But the older we get so do our ideas and desires. We say we want a more simple life but is that what we really want or do we just want to streamline it. Less complicated so to speak.

It is entirely possible to have a grand expansive life without it being complicated. And by completed I mean giving a fuck what others think about your life.

We spend most of our time in conflict with overworking ourselves trying to figure out others will like what we are doing or saying. The acknowledgment of others seems to be our ruling planet. It is the energy that we revolve around.

It determines how we speak, what we say, how we dress, and even what food we eat. We have such a deep desire to belong that we will join any tribe that accepts us.

I get it, I was always a different kind of kid. I never liked doing normal girl things. And to this day I hate the mall. Online shopping was a gift from heaven. Kinda/!?!?! But as a kid, I went to the mall because that is where all the kids went and I wanted to belong. Honestly, I never really fit in. I was always too something. To big, to black, not black enough, too boring. It was painful and kids these days call it bullying but for me it just made me work harder to fit in.

It was exhausting and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. Overall it helped me build a tough skin and character. I learned to speak up for myself and find my own tribe.

My tribe turned out to be a group of artists who spoke my same artsy language and thought about weird shit all of the time. It was amazing. I could be myself and fully grow into the person I was born to be.

But along the way, I got lost again. I fell in love with a corporate dude and his world was so interesting to me. He was so interesting to me. Smart, fine, and powerful. I loved being on his arm at all of these fancy functions. But when I look back I also realized that in order to fit in, I dimmed my light. I went from a bright peacock to a suit-wearing bore. I became a complete bore.

I didn’t realize what it was full but I realize that when I was away from the chicken dinner, fancy people world, my heart soared. When I could go to the art museum and stare at paint for an hour or sit at a cafe riding a sexy novel about nothing, joy was everywhere.

It is amazing how the people we surround ourselves with can impact how we see the world. It is not a drastic change but bit by bit we become something or someone unrecognizable. That can be good or it can be bad. If we are doing it to live our authentic dreams then it can be a great decision but if we are doing it to fit in and be accepted, then not so much.

If you look around and you find that you are doing and saying things that don’t feel good, you will know what road you choose.

Every day is a new opportunity to make a new choice.

Love and light
Monica Wisdom
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Are you ready for a change? 190 266 monity

Are you ready for a change?

Hey Queen,

It’s late-night and I was really thinking about all that is happening. There is so much confusion and so much isolation happening that we do not know which way to go. I know for me that my moods swing all over the place. One moment I am up and at the moment I am down.

But when I am the lowest is when I am listening to the fears of other people. If I watch the news or someone calls me with all of their complaints. Not the situation or circumstances but complaints.

This is tough for everyone on many different levels. So folks do not have jobs, others have jobs but they are working from home with their children. Playing teachers and employees can be a difficult task. Some are living with a spouse who they wonder why there are married to them. So many situations and things happening. It is all challenging.

I am in solitude and have to shelter in place by myself. As an introvert, it is not that bad but I think my greatest issue will come when I have to go back to work. It will definitely be a readjustment to all of my senses. But I will adjust.

Having lots of time to think, I realize that I need to make some changes. My life view is so different now that I question everything. But the beauty of it all is that I remember that my life is my choice.

We all have choices. We all have free will. It may seem like the world is on our chest but in life no matter your circumstances you can take steps to build a different life. A life built on our own terms.

There are so many ways to make money that your side hustle can become your primary job. It is entirely possible that you can make a gift or skill and turn into a business. But the real decision one must make is are you ready to make a change.

And when I say change I really mean a transformation. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to transform your life into something completely new?

The one thing we can control is the square that we live in. We can explore other areas of our lives and research who is doing the things we desire to do. We can let go of how we think we are supposed to live and move into a new realm.

It will not be easy but you will look back with no regrets as you walk around in your new life. One way to understand what I mean so watch documentaries on Netflix or PBS. Study the journey of the greats. Pay attention to how they started, the work they put in, and the relationship they forged along the way.

We have to be willing to let go. Let go of old thinking and old friends. Lighten your load and strengthen your drive and determination. Feed your soul with the things that will shift your mindset. Listen to music that is uplifting and raises your vibration.

Shifts happen in subtle ways but you first have to make a decision that you are ready and willing to forge a new path.

Create the vision, research your path, and move forward step by step. And think beyond what every you were taught. Oprah knew she would be great one day, Kobe set out to be the best ballplayer ever and Steve Jobs wanted to change the world. They did it all with a vision, a game plan, and with fear. Fear transmuted into faith will transform your life into all that you could imagine.

Listen with your heart and move with grace. Because where ever you are is not where you have to be.

Love and light,

Monica Wisdom
selflovenotes.blacwomenamplified.com

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Pushing Play 275 183 monity

Pushing Play

Hey Queen,

Yesterday I paused but today I am pressing play. It is amazing how a night of reflection and rest can rejuvenate. It all became clear that it was time for me to tap into my inner genius in order to rebuild my life within this new world that is evolving.

One person that I have been watching evolve in this ‘Rona Era’ is Eric Roberson. (If you don’t know who he is checking our www.ericrobersonmusic.com) I knew he was smart, gifted, and an old school hustler. But, as society began to shut down, Eric slipped deep into his genius and by the tools of technology, we were all able to watch his process.

I have always said that black men are alchemists. Observing men in my life create something out of nothing has always been a source of inspiration. But his was a whole new level. He was like a magician pulling mastery out of one of his many hats.

In four weeks I observed him create, produce and release an album, promote and grow his private membership, teach a music class online at Berkely, create Vlog cast, do interviews, and put out a music video. Wait there’s more. All while homeschooling his three sons and being there for his beautiful wife Shaun. I am exhausted but just talking about it.

We all have an inner genius. It is available to us at all times. It is that tingle or idea that comes through you. It is our internal GPS that gives clear direction on where to go next. In order to activate it is important to tap into it through prayer, meditation, and pure trust.

When you trust this guidance and activate it, pure magic happens. One will look up and accomplish nor in 28 days than many achieve in a lifetime. As the saying goes, “let go and let God.” Letting go of your ego, insecurities, and pride free up space allowing God’s guidance to flow through you. I believe that most of us here this guidance but talk ourselves out of letting it flow.

As Eric poured his musical gift all over the internet, he solidified his position as the King of Soul up in these streets. His business savvy is admirable and worthy of a Forbes cover. ( see what I did there)

Love and Light,

Monica Wisdom,

Check out Eric’s new video: Official Music Video: Already Knew You

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Today I Pause 400 267 monity

Today I Pause

Hey Queen,

When the world stopped, for many, it was a welcomed break. We were told that the virus would be in and out of here quickly and life would return back to normal. Now some five weeks later the world is realizing that the life we had before will become a shadowed memory. It seems that life will no longer be new nor will it ever be normal. As divine souls, we are learning how to adapt and adjust.

I have been working since I was 9 years old. Working at my father’s pharmacy at the front register selling everything from penny candy to toilet paper. We were literally the corner store. Walgreen before anyone ever heard of a wal or a greens. My job happened on the weekends, holidays, and summers. I learned to count money in my head and could calculate change perfectly in my head. Life was not simple but, it certainly seemed easier than now.

Now, I can’t say that I have gone without money because there were times when all we had was peanut butter bread and a bag of potatoes due to my parent’s divorce or my father’s business having to close because Walgreens moved up the street. Yes, the irony does not escape me.

But who would ever think that a pandemic would be the culprit of how the world is now. I have been doing my best to stay positive, but as days pass and people die, it gets harder and harder to find a smile. My mood is just solemn as I do my best not to fall deep into sadness.

Yes, I know in my heart that this will pass. I also know that this is a great time of innovation. Some of the most powerful companies out now started during the last recession. I know the numbers and stats. But this day seems like the realization that life is again going to be different.

I have a choice. I get to choose how I want it to be different. I get to choose if I fall off the side of a mountain or I climb to the next plateau. It is kind of a powerful place to know that its all on me. Today it seems heavy. Today the world seems heavy.

The saving grace of it all is that I do not have to carry it alone. The load is lighter when we all do it together.

But today I am mourning my life as I knew it while moving forward rebuilding my new world.

For a moment I am going to pause, lay down my crown, and simply cry.

Love and Love,

Monica Wisdom

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It’s hard to say goodbye to Kobe 820 867 monity

It’s hard to say goodbye to Kobe

What a tragedy! The loss of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi and the other people who lost their lives in such a horrific accident. It has sent the world into a daze with the loss of one of it’s greatest heroes.

Now I have to admit upfront that I am not into sports as much as my counterparts but I do appreciate the work and sacrifice that it takes to be a champion. Especially devoting twenty years to a job that you love. He took Jordan’s game to the next level and forged his own path into the hearts and minds of generations to come.

My heart goes out to his wife Vanessa, his three daughters and family. Though I can’t imagine what she is going through, I know she knows that the community is surrounding her with love and protection.

The protection squad is out in full force and upfront after and interview that Gayle King is with WMBA star Lisa Leslie, Kobe’s longtime friend. Gayle asked about Kobe’s case ( you can google it) and the interwebverse went into hive mode and headed straight for Gayle.

Now I think Gayle was wrong. I think the question could have been asked to Kobe and that Leslie did not deserve the weight of that question. The question itself is layered and complicated. But to ask in the midst of a grieving process was way out of pocket. And sometimes you have to pick family over a job. Yes, Gayle has a job to do but a journalist with her level of power can choose how she frames her interviews. She is not a junior reporter of a local station nor is she not Auntie Gayle, Oprah’s best friend. Whatever you may think of them they are the Grand Dames of the black community. Now we are questioning if they actually deserve those places in our hearts. However we examine these questions for ourselves, threats are never acceptable.

Personally, I did not like the questions nor did I think it was the right time for the questions. Kobe has not been laid to rest and there is just a time when you have to respect the dead. Many arguments, discussions, and perspectives have gone around the globe about this situation and honestly, that is not the point of my commentary on the subject.

I really believe that there is a bigger conversation that we as a black community need to have. That conversation is about how we deal with our pain and grief.

After my initial WTF moment, I had to sit back and examine my thoughts on this. And although I am incredibly disappointed in Gayle I also realize that she is a black woman and still deserves to be protected. She fucked up but what is also fucked up is this cancel culture. Whatever we thought about Kobe’s case we allowed him to redeem himself and move forward with the community support.

Everyone deserves the space for redemption. Now we may let you stay over there on time out for a long time but we will watch your moves to see how you move in the future. That’s just truth.

Now to give context on where my thinking is coming from we have to look back to 1965-68 when the voting rights and civil rights acts were passed. We have been in this country for centuries but we have only been full US citizens for 55-56 years. And as a society that I call Black America, we are relatively young. A fifth of the age of the United States itself. Yes, we have been in America longer that the United States has been alive but our collective as free citizens is new.

With any new society and organization, we have to grow, create rules, boundaries and evolve. But I don’t know of any society in a matter of 55 years has been able to cultivate and evolve so quickly. We have created our own culture and way of life that encompasses a culmination of many different ways of life that reach all the way back to Africa. But also included the bloodlines of our captures and plantation owners. None of who black people are today is free of our lineage. Nor are we free the pain of our lineage.

The pain of our lineage is breathing strong in our veins. It is a pain that we have yet to deal with because life itself is moving to fast. We just keep pushing forward and look for joy in our life. And one of the greatest joys we have is watching someone like Kobe play a great game. Engaging in sports is bigger than just who won or lost it’s a pattern of success that many want to emulate.

But for Kobe fans he was iconic and a role model. The root of the word father is a pattern. And he patterned what the journey looked like for many boys and men who grew up without a father. Kobe is family. No matter if you love him for a moment or for a lifetime he is family. He is the crown prince of black America. And don’t anybody say nut-tin’ bout our baby. If you didn’t say it then don’t say it now.

We are grieving. The pain is still fresh our lips. There has not been a funeral or memorial service. Truthfully his wife may only do a memorial service. But we are grieving.

Not only for Kobe but we begin to question our own mortality. We begin to examine our own lives. We sit with more questions than answers. After hearing of Kobe’s death I had to lay down. Lay down in my thoughts recalling where I was when my mother passed, when my father passed and when my brother passed. They were the icons that I had to say goodbye too and keep moving forward.

In moving forward I did not know how to process my pain and grief. I did everything but what to feel it. No one knows what to say or do for me. It was hard to find my joy but years later I found it.

It was a long process but I had to face it head-on. And as a community, it is time we go through the process of learning how to deal with our pain. This pain and all that came before it.

From my perspective, that backlash towards Gayle has partly misdirected grief. And that is something that I can certainly relate to you. Waking up sad and still have to go to work and instead of dealing with my sadness, somehow during the day it is mutated into anger and it is directed at someone in my path that has nothing to do with my pain.

Kobe’s death has had a great impact on everyone plus all that is going on in our country has many in an unsettled place. But moving forward we have to learn how to communicate with each other in a better way that is more productive and moves us forward as a community.

We must begin dealing with your own trauma and loss. We can read books, go to therapy or join a support group. We focus so hard on staying positive but that is not working. We prove that by how easy it is to get shook. Critical thinking is essential but so is healing.

I did not expect this to be so long. Thank you if you got to this line. I really want us all to win and be one united family. And honestly, I hope we take all of this unity into the election and use this energy to change everyone’s lives for the better.

Blessings and Light

Monica

New Year! Make it Happy! 1068 600 monity

New Year! Make it Happy!

As we finish up the first month of the year, some of us are feeling like we need to recalibrate. Between impeachment hearings and the death of icons, this years beginning is full of twists and unfortunate turns.

It is important that no matter what is going on around us that we keep our peace within us. Peace is powerful but fragile if we allow outside influences to permeate our sacred spaces. It is important to have a space in your home that reflect the peace in your mind that you push to maintain.

Distractions are everywhere and it is easy to get off track. But if you have a space where you can get centered and grounded after a long day, your evening will be full of inspiration.

A great way to center yourself is to end your day with your journal. There are several ways to approach it. You can do a gratitude journal, which is something Oprah highly recommends. Even in the mist of a horrible day, it is good to sit and reflect on the good parts of the day as well as what was good about the bad parts. It will  help one to understand the power of seeing a silver lining in all things. Whether it is a lesson or an understanding of how to handle something in a better way, you can often find at least three things to be grateful about your day.

Another way to journal is by having a conversation with yourself. It is a great way to document your life and see you life in a new way. It is also a way to document how you handled situations in the past. Sometimes you  are your best teacher. You can see patterns and habits that are working and not working. It will help you course correct your journey if you are feeling off balance or overwhelmed.

You can also have a celebration entry journal. Often times we make a to-do list and we forget to acknowledge or accomplishments. We move forward with out celebrating.  Why can’t we give ourselves golds stars. We all have a little girl inside of us that just wants someone to say, ‘ Hey girl, you did great.” Begin to log your wins and by the end of the year you will see how much you actually did. Instead of trusting your memory and Instagram page you will have a detailed list of what your year looked like month to month. Then New Years Eve will be that much sweeter. List what you have overcome as well as what you have achieved on any given day.

Crafting your sacred space is personal. The only right way is your way. And there are plenty of places to look for inspiration.  Google will have you going down a rabbit hole so give yourself a limit.

Mine includes my family, candles, sage and other important item that I have collected in my life. It is up to you to make it your own and something that honors the peace that you desire in and for your life.

Have fun creating and mostly have a peaceful day,

Monica Wisdom, Founder Black Women Amplified

Membership portal coming soon

Falling in Love 720 405 monity

Falling in Love

There is a myth that love is all about romance. Romance is a simplified understanding of what is fully expressed when the idea of love is expanded. I am learning that when we focus on the sexual aspects of love we close the door to many other aspects.
There is nothing intimate to sex although the act of sex and becomes a portal to intimacy. It can unlock openings in our being that access our connection to others and God. It allows a person to see past the physicality of a person into the depths of their innermost caverns that hold space for possibility.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing better than a night of hot, passionate unbridled sex with someone that you are in a romantic relationship with. But there is nothing more healing and expansive that an encounter with someone past the physical aspects of sex. There are levels to the complexities of human connection.
When a man touches my body I become excited, my breath becomes shorted and I become hot all over. What also happens is the mental gymnastics of my fears and insecurities. I wonder a plethora of things like how do look laying down. Does he think I think I am pretty? What is he thinking when he looks at my fat body? How long do I have to stay in this position? You know, all the things that don’t matter when his head is between your legs. But your ego is all its love for chaos, asks anyway.
When it comes to an encounter of intimacy, the ego is tamed and our bodies disappear. We move into a space of pure unexplainable passion. Places are touched in our soul that magnify our connections to not just our partner but to ourselves. It takes me to a place of pure freedom and release. In those moments I release all of my insecurities, fears, and thoughts of inadequacy to just be deep on the truth of what love is.
It feels the spaces between breathing and if it seems as if we become on undefinable being. We lose all of our curves, edges, and inhibitions. Nothing blocks my soul from him and we see each other from the inside out. Time becomes reductive as hours seem like just a second. Nothing needs to be said or heard because in this space there is not a word.
Unraveling everything we have been taught by society and the example of our parents and family is something that we have to be willing to let go of. To form an undefinable cast of what the potentiality of what the truth of love is. We must collapse our many definitions of love into just one category and that is intimacy.
If we added intimacy into every category of our lives then we would have different conversations, we would marry different people, we would see the depths of ourselves and we would respect humanity and the earth in an entirely new way. Because we would recognize that it is really all just us. That every aspect of life that we see outside of ourselves is just a microcosm of the inner world that is within each of us. Because when you see intimately into your soul you automatically see the connection of all souls birthing tethered compassion.
I realized for must that the quest for romance was like feeding an addiction but the experience of intimacy was how I feed my soul.  Romance just cracks the door to a spiritual experience that if understood could heal the masses one encounter at a time.

Monica Wisdom,

Founder, Black Women Amplified and Amplified 360

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Get you some good friends. 150 150 monity

Get you some good friends.

There is nothing better than having great friends. Offline of course.

Today was a snow day for me and I got a chance to spend almost 3 hours talking to one of my best friends. Talking on the phone has become this mystical occurrence in my life and for more than just lack of time. We know that at 50 we have deep commitments and time crunches. But today my clients cancelled which meant I have the day off from my main gig.

My friend sent me a youtube and I replied in my usual sarcasm and instead of our usual text banter her called. I answered the phone , he said 2 world and I busted out laughing as he proceeded to chin check me for my sarcasm. Almost 3 hours later of deep conversations and ridiculous banter our phones hung up on us. The nerve of Iphone.

But I tell you what, it was the best medicine ever. I am blessed to have 20 and 30 year friendships and no matter how far we move apart from each other, the connection still remains.

These are the kind of friendships that lift up your soul and open your heart. They challenge your thinking, hold up the mirror to your faults and love you with few conditions. It’s so amazing to have just joy through friendships even when the honesty is so brutal that you sometimes want to cry. But that is what real friends are for.

Real friends hold you accountable and pull the best out of you. Get you some real friends.

Peace and love,

Monica Wisdom

Founder, Black Women Amplified

Founder, Amplified 360 

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Dear T.I. 620 394 monity

Dear T.I.

Dear T.I.,

First, let me say that I have much respect for your work in the community. It is beautiful to see you be an example of how to protect the community. But with every yin, there is a yang.

When I first heard what was said about your daughter I thought it was a rumor then I heard the audio. I was mortified. And I understand where you came from and you deeply wanting to protect your daughter. But it is also important that you deeply trust your daughter and help to build her confidence and self-esteem.

As women, we learn to love through our relationships with our fathers. We unknowingly and subconsciously seek out the example of how we were loved by our daddy’s. What you are teaching your daughter is what love looks like control and love looks like distrust. It is a form of oppression that happens all over the world. And to make this information public has set your daughter up for harassment and humiliation. Situations like these shape how we see the world and how we see ourselves in it. You have caused trauma to your daughter and triggered many women around the globe, subsequently reinforcing this egregious behavior. (I know you like big words)

Now I am not going to say much more because social media is full of more than appropriate dragging. But I will take from your leadership in the Gucci debacle and use that as an example of an appropriate response.

I am going to put you on probation for 3 months. I will disconnect from all of your channels and suggest all that read this do the same. I will suggest that you take that time to learn about how black women and women around the world have been oppressed and ‘protected’ by their fathers, brothers, and uncles. I will suggest that you take a proper sex education class and anatomy class so that you can understand how a women’s body works. We are not only designed for the pleasure of men.

There is an organization in Atlanta called Men Stopping Violence, I suggest that for the next 3 months that you signed up and take full advantaged of their programs. They will also help you understand better how to communicate with your daughters and sons. (www.menstoppingviolence.com)

Once your 3-month probation I will expect a full report of what you have learned, how you will communicate with your daughter about her body, how you well support equality for women and how you will help to end sexism and misogyny in the black community.

I get that you want to protect your daughter from all that you have seen but there is a more productive, loving and empathic way to approach it. I am happy to see any man engaged in their children’s life but I know that a smart man such as yourself can evolve from 1852 and allow your daughter to have agency over her own body with compassion and grace.

With Love and Power,
Monica Wisdom
Founder, Black Women Amplified

 

This election 700 467 monity

This election

We have major election happening next year. Everyone is deciding who will be the best person for the job. Although I think that a homeless bulldog would be better than what have now, I also believe that we have to get very specific on not who we choose but what we are asking for.

This election black women have to put forth a me first agenda. No more sitting back hoping that those we take care of will return the favor. Because there is the thing, if we are taken care of then things will also become better for others.

Why? Because everyone feeds off of us. We are the worlds nourishment and if  our soil is not feed then the world will continue to suffer.  Feed us! Care for us! Center us and the world with be a better place.

The new movement is ‘#MEFIRST’

What about US? 150 150 monity

What about US?

Hey Sis,

They say black women determine the vote. They say we are imperative to the voting process. They say our vote matters. Then as soon as we cast our ballot, the speeches are over and we go back to do us. Unfortunately, they go back to doing them.  When will they see us?

How will 2020 be different? I think it will be different because we are different. Since 2014 there has been a great awakening of black women. The generation of young activists has stood, marched and chanted in a way that has called up the presence of the ancestors. We have slowly been receiving the messages that we are good enough as we are. All of our silent protests have shifted to out loud and now the world is listening.

The last election put our power to the test. And we shifted the demographics of Congress. And how as a collective we must shift the demographics of the highest office in the land. But this time it must be a win/win situation.

The position of president is not for the faint of heart and a good president knows that she must be there for all of the people. She must know that she will be held accountable in every aspect of her administration. In this era, we will be standing up front, with our iPhones, checking off the campaign promises list.

When Barack was elected, black folks were so excited, we sat back and chilled. But when the 8 years quickly passed we were confronted with the reality that many in our community were still suffering and not feeling very hopeful. Now granted President Obama ended and economic free fall and stabilized the nation but much of what he did was for everyone, not just us.

I get his methods that if we are all doing well then all is well but everyone was not doing well. The urban, young and rural communities are still having the same challenges from 10 years ago and over the last two years, those challenges have increased. As the cost of living goes up faster than wages, folks seem to be falling behind.

But here is the big but, we have to create an agenda to push us as a community forward. No longer can we be one issue voters. We must be community voters. It can’t just be my right to great health care, I also have to be concerned with the sister that I don’t know. I have to add her issue to my list and fight just as hard for her and her family.

Its time, to be honest with what we see in the mirror and honestly assess our real needs. The needs that are wrapped in shame and myths. If we continue relying on myth as our foundation, we will continue to fall behind.

 

When we shift from shame to truth then we can release the burden and ask for what we really need. Black Women need a full agenda dictated to specifically us. Just like Latin women, Asian women, Arab women, and Native women. We are not all the same and our journey to liberation.

It is time to really do some soul searching for not only how will be the next leader but who will best lead for our needs. Putting our need first is a new perspective but it is time to take notes from the younger generations and finally ask the big question, ‘WHAT ABOUT ME?

Here is a link to the study of black women for 2019 and it is alarming. Read it for yourself and send it to everyone you know. It is time for America’s agenda to include the need for black women. As nations builders, it is time to reap our rewards.

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When They See Us? My Thoughts 150 150 monity

When They See Us? My Thoughts

Hey Sis,

I spent the weekend getting educated on being black in America. I watched the riveting movie ‘When They See Us’.  Then I watched ‘Reconstruction’, the Henry Louis Gates PBS special, about the period just after slavery.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – MAY 20: Kevin Richardson, Antron Mccray, Raymond Santana Jr., Korey Wise, and Yusef Salaam attend the World Premiere of Netflix’s “When They See Us” at the Apollo Theater on May 20, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images)

This is America History that everyone should watch. Watching Reconstruction, I was able to see exactly how When They See Us happened. How a lie was cultivated and crafted into a truth shamelessly.

Intellectually I see the patterns clearly but emotionally I just don’t understand why? As I am sitting here typing this and words are escaping me. It’s really hard for me to comprehend the level of hatred and righteousness that it takes to destroy the lives of people just for the sake of self-preservation.

I can’t comprehend that level of evil justified through laws and actions plotted out to terrorize a group of people one can no longer own. They say we were not human but these inhuman acts beg the question, How do you define human?

Sometimes I think black folks are aliens who landed on the wrong planet. The level of pain and terror we have and continue to endure is unfathomable. Yet we still continue to express joy, love, forgiveness, empathy, and compassion. How?

Does melanin protect out spirits like an electronic shield? Are we superhuman or super something else? How? How do we continue to push for our humanity peacefully? How do we continue to thrive despite the pain, the lies, and the terror?

Even though I don’t get the folks who perpetrate these atrocities, I get less is us. How do we continue growing, loving and expressing joy? Where did we get this strength and resilience from? How are we so traumatized and continue to move forward?

Linda Fairstein is no different than bbq Becky. Elements of the Central Park 5 case is no different than the Emmit Till. Kalief Browder’s case directly connects to the horrors of the middle passage. It is a haunting continuation of the past.

Everyone should see When They See Us. Hopefully one day they will.

Stressed? 150 150 monity

Stressed?

 

Hey Sis,

I hope you had a grand weekend. I spent time with friends and chilled in my bed watching this quirky show called ‘Huge in France’ on Netflix. It’s a show all about rich people problems. Well, not really but that is the conclusion I came up with.

But mostly after a challenging day at work, I just needed breathing space. Not to give to many details, I had someone who challenged my character because I did not want to take them on as a client.

Being an entrepreneur can put one in some sticky positions sometimes. On one hand, you want to be of service but on the other had one has to make it completely clear that we are not servants.

As an expert in my field is not a title that I bestowed upon myself. It is a term that people that I have worked gave to me. I consider myself a constant learner. There is always more to learn and technology is constantly making improvements.

I have realized one thing I wish I had learned 25 years ago. Everyone does not deserve access to your shine. We all have a place where we shine. That thing that comes easy to us and is as simple as breathing. True many people do that same thing but the exact way you do it, sis, that is your shine.

We live from the notion that if you have a gift that it is your duty to share it with the world. Well, what I have come to realize is that really is not the case. Some folks like Coke and some folks like Pepsi. And 9 times out of ten you will never convince a Pepsi person that Coke is better.

My life had been a quest or liberation and the older I get the more I realize that true liberation is the freedom to say yes to yourself. This eliminates stress, people pleasing and spreading yourself thin.

The 2 things that God gave us is free will and choice, and in this life, I am beginning to choose me. My shine is worthy!

Thanks for listening! Chat soon!

Monica Wisdom,
Founder

BlackWomenAmplified (Click < to join our facebook page)

I am a Black Woman 400 267 monity

I am a Black Woman

I do not like the term People of Color. Because many times the term is used but black folks are not included. I had an entire interaction with the Thinkific people on Instagram because they are having an online summit with all ‘Women of Color’ which includes black women. That’s fantastic. But I asked them if they hire black women. She went through all the company does for diversity and by the end of the conversation, my question had finally been answered.

No, they had not hired one American black woman or not one black Canadian woman. The reason I ask the question is that often black women are used to promoting and selling a product but we are not included as vendors or employees.

Our black girl magic sells ish but the economics has to be reciprocal. Companies have to be called out. Because if your diversity program is not truly inclusive then why have one. This is everyone’s responsibility.

Read it for yourself. All of these stats but nada. Smh

I have no issue that the summit is happening. Let’s understand that black women spend money and that’s why companies are courting our business. Does it extend our brand, of course, but until we have a stake in the profits that our magic creates, we will continue to fall behind economically as a community.

(let me be clear when I say black women I mean indigenous black women who are descendants of the trans-Atlantic slave trade)

Monica Wisdom,

Founder, Black Women Amplified

www.paypal.me/TeamBFFMonica

Unraveling Racism Within 466 600 monity

Unraveling Racism Within

We are still in the eye of the storm when it comes to talking about race in America. Unraveling race is a complicated intertwined mix of legacy; myths and emotions that center around the perspective of those that are courageous enough to have the conversation.

Personally I love and hate talking about the subject because it is so ingrained in my life’s experience that it can be overwhelming. Experiences of race has left me broken and strong at the same time. My life’s personal work is a daily practice of not letting it break me….. today. That is where my strength comes in as well as self-compassion and an acute awareness of how I am perceived in the world.

Being a black women in this society means that I have to have a super human persona that allows everyone who experiences me feel non threatened and safe. This happens simultaneously while I feel threatened and unsafe. How fucked up is that? America and Black Women do not have a reciprocal relationship. America most often takes.

In the past few weeks I have had some strong conversations about race with the headlines about Starbucks, Waffle House, and Danielle Laporte. It seems that the common thread in these conversations is white women and their ideas about race. As I said this is a complicated conversation and it has many layers  that range from I love hip-hop and Oprah to calling for help at the first sign of feeling uncomfortable. Which is a very confusing dichotomy to digest when looking from the outside, especially when you call us sister and are still silent on the issues that threaten us most.

The issue for me is not only to understand the issues of black People/ women for white Women/people to understand their own path in what is happening. I have yet to hear a white person fully connect to the atrocities that historically you all have caused and created. When a conversation happens there is instant deflection and no personal responsibility.

The argument that I was not even alive, is mute when one considers that white people continue to benefit from economic gain from slavery. (Don’t know how watch 13th) and study history. The same books are available to everyone. No true reconciliation will ever happen if white people do not take full responsibility for their actions, non-actions, silence, complicity, advances, advantages and privileges. It goes much further back than the civil war. It goes further back than the American Revolution.

The atrocities of colonization around the globe have catastrophically devastated black and indigenous communities. And to continue to say that’s not me …. I didn’t do it perpetuates the problem.

It’s odd that White people feel so entitled to the shade from the tree when they had nothing to do with planting and growing the tree

Personally I have taken the position that I am not going to explain race to anyone again who has not taken the time to study and understand the complexities of white supremacy, the true history of this country , colonization and a full understanding of Trans Atlantic Slave Trade. I cannot seed your garden with my magic if you have not prepared the soil. The knowledge will not take root.

I have been asked I curate a list of works by authors, directors and educators that will assist you on your journey to unravel racism. These works helped me understand the world that I lived in. A world, which travels through the womb of black women, yet does not respect us as its mother. Humanity has been the child that refused to look us in the eyes as it suckles our breast. Let that soak in.

I ask that as you read, watch and learn, consider a diversity of perspectives.

  1. To gain understanding
  2. To examine your personal thoughts and actions
  3. How you can break the cycle of racism within, yourself, your family and your community
  4. Without being defensive
  5. With compassion
  6. Open to take personal responsibility for your thoughts and action
  7. Be willing to accept what you don’t understand as someone else’s truth
  8. With an open heart
  9. Be willing to push through being uncomfortable

If you do the work then as a nation we can have honest conversations that will elevate humanity and move America forward.

Many Blessing,

Monica Wisdom

Black Woman Amplified, Founder

blackwomenamplified.com

 

www.paypal.me/TeamBFFMonica

 

 

Unraveling Race Resource list:

Curated by Monica Wisdom Tyson

 

A reference for truth and knowledge of the black community, white supremacy, racism and oppression.

Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome (book)
The Isis Papers (book)
I Am not your Negro (movie)
13th (movie)
The Color of Law (book)
The Half that has never been told (book)
Letters to a Birmingham Jail(book)
Ain’t I a Woman (book)
The New Jim Crow(book)
Assata an Autobiography (book)

FruitVale Station (Movie)

Still I Rise ~ Maya Angelou (documentary)

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption(book)

Slavery by Another Name: The re-enslavement of black americans from the civil war to World War Two (book)

The Mis-Education of the Negro (book)

The coldest winter ever (book)

Genocide in Germain south-west Africa: The Colonial War of 1904-1908 and Its Aftermath by Jurgen Zimmerer and Joachim Zeller

The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B Du Bois (b00k)

12 years a slave (movie)

The Ways of White Folks By Langston Hughes (Book)

Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America (book)

We Should All Be Feminists
by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (book)

Women’s work to follow:

Dr Joy Degruy Dr. Isis Fuqua
Dr. Frances Cress Welsing

Fania Davis

Zora Neale Hurston

Nikki Giovanni

Gwendolyn Brooks

Sonia Sanchez

 

( I believe that it is important to have a well rounded view of life though the eyes of black women , so I have included the men we learn from and poets we love)

 

Feel free to share this post and support the work ,

Thank you

 

www.monicawisdomtyson.com

www.paypal.me/TeamBFFMonica

Hey Sis, Welcome 275 183 monity

Hey Sis, Welcome

Hey Sis,

I just wanted to stop by and tell you why I created this space for us. As I walked through the blogosphere, I couldn’t find something that spoke my language. I am a Gen x nerdy book loving fashionable lover of art who loves dinner with my girls and nights with my man. I love house music, poetry, jazz, soul, travel, belongs to the Rhythm Nation and breaths hip-hop. Woo, we are a lot and from my point of view, it’s a good thing.

The voice of the Gen X Black Women is one that seems to be carved out of every conversation. Like we are the adults in the playroom of life. But when things need to be straightened up we become the cavalry armed with a cell phone, note pad, and a strong sisterhood.

Welp, it is time to break out of the background and free ourselves from the background and restore our vitality fully expressed.

Black Women Amplified is the place for our expression. Where are we share ourselves fearlessly and unapologetically! We were raised to be humble and to be of service but dammit we are not servants waiting on who needs us most.

We are here and we got something to say. In Fact, because our generation of innovators, we have the instructions, knowledge, and wisdom to course correct all the things. But before we get to recalibrating societies GPS, we are going to have a bit of fun ourselves. Responsible for only our dreams and desires.

All are welcome to enjoy our journey and join along the way. But hey we are about to reclaim our space and have a bit of healing, restoration, and fun. Sometimes laughing, sometimes crying but all times growing.

Share with your crew and enjoy the ride. Welcome to Black Women Amplified.