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Who are those people? 500 333 monity

Who are those people?

Hey Queen,

Have you ever wonder what it meant when the elders told us to be careful of the company we keep? I never really thought much about it until recently. And when I say recently, I mean today.

The older we get our inner circles to get smaller and smaller. But the older we get so do our ideas and desires. We say we want a more simple life but is that what we really want or do we just want to streamline it. Less complicated so to speak.

It is entirely possible to have a grand expansive life without it being complicated. And by completed I mean giving a fuck what others think about your life.

We spend most of our time in conflict with overworking ourselves trying to figure out others will like what we are doing or saying. The acknowledgment of others seems to be our ruling planet. It is the energy that we revolve around.

It determines how we speak, what we say, how we dress, and even what food we eat. We have such a deep desire to belong that we will join any tribe that accepts us.

I get it, I was always a different kind of kid. I never liked doing normal girl things. And to this day I hate the mall. Online shopping was a gift from heaven. Kinda/!?!?! But as a kid, I went to the mall because that is where all the kids went and I wanted to belong. Honestly, I never really fit in. I was always too something. To big, to black, not black enough, too boring. It was painful and kids these days call it bullying but for me it just made me work harder to fit in.

It was exhausting and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. Overall it helped me build a tough skin and character. I learned to speak up for myself and find my own tribe.

My tribe turned out to be a group of artists who spoke my same artsy language and thought about weird shit all of the time. It was amazing. I could be myself and fully grow into the person I was born to be.

But along the way, I got lost again. I fell in love with a corporate dude and his world was so interesting to me. He was so interesting to me. Smart, fine, and powerful. I loved being on his arm at all of these fancy functions. But when I look back I also realized that in order to fit in, I dimmed my light. I went from a bright peacock to a suit-wearing bore. I became a complete bore.

I didn’t realize what it was full but I realize that when I was away from the chicken dinner, fancy people world, my heart soared. When I could go to the art museum and stare at paint for an hour or sit at a cafe riding a sexy novel about nothing, joy was everywhere.

It is amazing how the people we surround ourselves with can impact how we see the world. It is not a drastic change but bit by bit we become something or someone unrecognizable. That can be good or it can be bad. If we are doing it to live our authentic dreams then it can be a great decision but if we are doing it to fit in and be accepted, then not so much.

If you look around and you find that you are doing and saying things that don’t feel good, you will know what road you choose.

Every day is a new opportunity to make a new choice.

Love and light
Monica Wisdom
selflovenotes.blackwomenamplied.com Join our email tribe.

New Year! Make it Happy! 1068 600 monity

New Year! Make it Happy!

As we finish up the first month of the year, some of us are feeling like we need to recalibrate. Between impeachment hearings and the death of icons, this years beginning is full of twists and unfortunate turns.

It is important that no matter what is going on around us that we keep our peace within us. Peace is powerful but fragile if we allow outside influences to permeate our sacred spaces. It is important to have a space in your home that reflect the peace in your mind that you push to maintain.

Distractions are everywhere and it is easy to get off track. But if you have a space where you can get centered and grounded after a long day, your evening will be full of inspiration.

A great way to center yourself is to end your day with your journal. There are several ways to approach it. You can do a gratitude journal, which is something Oprah highly recommends. Even in the mist of a horrible day, it is good to sit and reflect on the good parts of the day as well as what was good about the bad parts. It will  help one to understand the power of seeing a silver lining in all things. Whether it is a lesson or an understanding of how to handle something in a better way, you can often find at least three things to be grateful about your day.

Another way to journal is by having a conversation with yourself. It is a great way to document your life and see you life in a new way. It is also a way to document how you handled situations in the past. Sometimes you  are your best teacher. You can see patterns and habits that are working and not working. It will help you course correct your journey if you are feeling off balance or overwhelmed.

You can also have a celebration entry journal. Often times we make a to-do list and we forget to acknowledge or accomplishments. We move forward with out celebrating.  Why can’t we give ourselves golds stars. We all have a little girl inside of us that just wants someone to say, ‘ Hey girl, you did great.” Begin to log your wins and by the end of the year you will see how much you actually did. Instead of trusting your memory and Instagram page you will have a detailed list of what your year looked like month to month. Then New Years Eve will be that much sweeter. List what you have overcome as well as what you have achieved on any given day.

Crafting your sacred space is personal. The only right way is your way. And there are plenty of places to look for inspiration.  Google will have you going down a rabbit hole so give yourself a limit.

Mine includes my family, candles, sage and other important item that I have collected in my life. It is up to you to make it your own and something that honors the peace that you desire in and for your life.

Have fun creating and mostly have a peaceful day,

Monica Wisdom, Founder Black Women Amplified

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