First, let me say that I have much respect for your work in the community. It is beautiful to see you be an example of how to protect the community. But with every yin, there is a yang.
When I first heard what was said about your daughter I thought it was a rumor then I heard the audio. I was mortified. And I understand where you came from and you deeply wanting to protect your daughter. But it is also important that you deeply trust your daughter and help to build her confidence and self-esteem.
As women, we learn to love through our relationships with our fathers. We unknowingly and subconsciously seek out the example of how we were loved by our daddy’s. What you are teaching your daughter is what love looks like control and love looks like distrust. It is a form of oppression that happens all over the world. And to make this information public has set your daughter up for harassment and humiliation. Situations like these shape how we see the world and how we see ourselves in it. You have caused trauma to your daughter and triggered many women around the globe, subsequently reinforcing this egregious behavior. (I know you like big words)
Now I am not going to say much more because social media is full of more than appropriate dragging. But I will take from your leadership in the Gucci debacle and use that as an example of an appropriate response.
I am going to put you on probation for 3 months. I will disconnect from all of your channels and suggest all that read this do the same. I will suggest that you take that time to learn about how black women and women around the world have been oppressed and ‘protected’ by their fathers, brothers, and uncles. I will suggest that you take a proper sex education class and anatomy class so that you can understand how a women’s body works. We are not only designed for the pleasure of men.
There is an organization in Atlanta called Men Stopping Violence, I suggest that for the next 3 months that you signed up and take full advantaged of their programs. They will also help you understand better how to communicate with your daughters and sons. (www.menstoppingviolence.com)
Once your 3-month probation I will expect a full report of what you have learned, how you will communicate with your daughter about her body, how you well support equality for women and how you will help to end sexism and misogyny in the black community.
I get that you want to protect your daughter from all that you have seen but there is a more productive, loving and empathic way to approach it. I am happy to see any man engaged in their children’s life but I know that a smart man such as yourself can evolve from 1852 and allow your daughter to have agency over her own body with compassion and grace.
With Love and Power,
Founder, Black Women Amplified