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Today I Pause 400 267 monity

Today I Pause

Hey Queen,

When the world stopped, for many, it was a welcomed break. We were told that the virus would be in and out of here quickly and life would return back to normal. Now some five weeks later the world is realizing that the life we had before will become a shadowed memory. It seems that life will no longer be new nor will it ever be normal. As divine souls, we are learning how to adapt and adjust.

I have been working since I was 9 years old. Working at my father’s pharmacy at the front register selling everything from penny candy to toilet paper. We were literally the corner store. Walgreen before anyone ever heard of a wal or a greens. My job happened on the weekends, holidays, and summers. I learned to count money in my head and could calculate change perfectly in my head. Life was not simple but, it certainly seemed easier than now.

Now, I can’t say that I have gone without money because there were times when all we had was peanut butter bread and a bag of potatoes due to my parent’s divorce or my father’s business having to close because Walgreens moved up the street. Yes, the irony does not escape me.

But who would ever think that a pandemic would be the culprit of how the world is now. I have been doing my best to stay positive, but as days pass and people die, it gets harder and harder to find a smile. My mood is just solemn as I do my best not to fall deep into sadness.

Yes, I know in my heart that this will pass. I also know that this is a great time of innovation. Some of the most powerful companies out now started during the last recession. I know the numbers and stats. But this day seems like the realization that life is again going to be different.

I have a choice. I get to choose how I want it to be different. I get to choose if I fall off the side of a mountain or I climb to the next plateau. It is kind of a powerful place to know that its all on me. Today it seems heavy. Today the world seems heavy.

The saving grace of it all is that I do not have to carry it alone. The load is lighter when we all do it together.

But today I am mourning my life as I knew it while moving forward rebuilding my new world.

For a moment I am going to pause, lay down my crown, and simply cry.

Love and Love,

Monica Wisdom

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