Hello Queens,

I am absolutely buzzing with excitement and wonderment after a weekend of self-discovery! It was an amazing experience that has left me feeling rejuvenated, empowered, and ready to take on the world.

Let me tell you, I have a tendency to shut down when life gets overwhelming. It’s easy for me to handle the big things, but those little subtle things like self-doubt and imposter syndrome can knock me out. However, instead of fighting it this time around, I learned to lean in and look for what the moment was trying to tell me.

What I discovered was truly mind-blowing! I realized that pushing through is not my friend, and it only adds a callus to the trauma that’s triggered, amplifying my fears even more. So, I decided to step back and explore what I would like my life to look like.

After making a series of starts and stops, I finally went deep into what my heart wanted to create and became completely clear in my next chapter. The clarity that came with this realization sent shivers down my spine! I was used to living a life of hustle, grind, and chaos, always trying to figure it all out. So, moving past that and into a clear and concise life felt uncomfortable to me. But, what I interpreted as fear was actually just my discomfort with letting go of the familiar.

I spent most of my life in survival mode, living and choosing to just get to the next day. Whether it was because of my abusive childhood or not feeling worthy of love, I never felt clear and concise about what my next step should be. It left me often on the defensive and hoping that the world wouldn’t see past my crafted persona to realize I was just a clever mess.

But on the third day of my personal shutdown, I had an incredible realization that all of my life culminated in this very moment. The challenges, pondering, doubt, and elevated emotions were not only necessary but were ready to be released. It was as if the wing of the crisis had been formed, and the flight sequence had begun. 3, 2, 1 to the next chapter has opened up, and all I have worked for carries a new understanding of who I am now.

When we carry the burdens of our past, we also carry the personalities created and curated to keep us safe and protected. It’s like a self was added to the version of ourselves to protect us from harm and pain. But, instantly, we can recognize that added personality, name it, and begin a conversation of understanding. Asking it why it’s here, where it began, and what its purpose in our lives is.

Once we begin to understand the parts of who we are, we then begin to see our wholeness, not as a single picture, but as a tapestry of many colors framed in the reality of life.

If I had pushed through instead of shutting down, I know that my discovery of this part of myself would have remained in the shadows, continuing on its mission instead of propelling me toward a deeper understanding of my destiny.

And let me tell you, my weekend was not just fun, it was absolutely GREAT!

Have an incredible day,

Monica Wisdom.

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