Do we see yourselves?
When you look in the mirror do you see your whole beautiful self or do you see the fracture flaws?
There was a time when I looked in the mirror and only saw the broken pieces of myself. I saw the shame and the flaws. It was rare I saw myself smile. Laughing at myself was not possible because nothing about me brought me joy.
The illusion of who we are runs incredibly deep. We are input with information that programs how we see ourselves. From the movie, we watch to the music we sonically digest. It all shapes the representative that we show ourselves.
Most people only believe there is only the representative we show others, but there is one other that we see in the mirror. It is a shadow of our true selves. Once in a while, we see the truth, but mostly we spend our time covering up the scars and pain. Believing one more lip color will hide the trauma.
And although there are many stories we see around us, it’s the story we tell ourselves that is most detrimental to our self-esteem and self-worth.
If you read my last post you understood the shame that cloaked me. This cloak burned through my self-worth. I was accepting a life I thought I deserved. It was unreal when the veil lifted. Once the veil was lifted then was I allowed healing my heart.
Looking in the mirror became a great challenge. I challenged myself to look at myself deeply and see past the gremlins in my head. You know the ones who say you are not good enough.
I had to tell those bishes to have a seat so I could reconnect with my worth and esteem. It was a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. The realization that I survived and tough life and I was still here. A life that is unimaginable to many. The understanding that hiding it was hindering my emotional growth.
This was not a change process, it was a remembering process. Remembering I was created with love. A divine love that no one or circumstance could take away from me. My brown skin, my crooked smile, my short nappy hair, and my country laugh.
The bible said we were divinely fashioned in our mother’s womb and It was time to realize it was true. Believing that we are divinely created is a path I recommend to everyone. Understand it from your soul and in your reflection.
It was my path to looking in the mirror and seeing a reflection of joy and worthiness.
I still have my challenges but through patience and radical self-love, I finally see past the representative and see my soul.
Founder, Black Women Amplified