Have you ever wonder what it meant when the elders told us to be careful of the company we keep? I never really thought much about it until recently. And when I say recently, I mean today.
The older we get our inner circles to get smaller and smaller. But the older we get so do our ideas and desires. We say we want a more simple life but is that what we really want or do we just want to streamline it. Less complicated so to speak.
It is entirely possible to have a grand expansive life without it being complicated. And by completed I mean giving a fuck what others think about your life.
We spend most of our time in conflict with overworking ourselves trying to figure out others will like what we are doing or saying. The acknowledgment of others seems to be our ruling planet. It is the energy that we revolve around.
It determines how we speak, what we say, how we dress, and even what food we eat. We have such a deep desire to belong that we will join any tribe that accepts us.
I get it, I was always a different kind of kid. I never liked doing normal girl things. And to this day I hate the mall. Online shopping was a gift from heaven. Kinda/!?!?! But as a kid, I went to the mall because that is where all the kids went and I wanted to belong. Honestly, I never really fit in. I was always too something. To big, to black, not black enough, too boring. It was painful and kids these days call it bullying but for me it just made me work harder to fit in.
It was exhausting and I never felt comfortable in my own skin. Overall it helped me build a tough skin and character. I learned to speak up for myself and find my own tribe.
My tribe turned out to be a group of artists who spoke my same artsy language and thought about weird shit all of the time. It was amazing. I could be myself and fully grow into the person I was born to be.
But along the way, I got lost again. I fell in love with a corporate dude and his world was so interesting to me. He was so interesting to me. Smart, fine, and powerful. I loved being on his arm at all of these fancy functions. But when I look back I also realized that in order to fit in, I dimmed my light. I went from a bright peacock to a suit-wearing bore. I became a complete bore.
I didn’t realize what it was full but I realize that when I was away from the chicken dinner, fancy people world, my heart soared. When I could go to the art museum and stare at paint for an hour or sit at a cafe riding a sexy novel about nothing, joy was everywhere.
It is amazing how the people we surround ourselves with can impact how we see the world. It is not a drastic change but bit by bit we become something or someone unrecognizable. That can be good or it can be bad. If we are doing it to live our authentic dreams then it can be a great decision but if we are doing it to fit in and be accepted, then not so much.
If you look around and you find that you are doing and saying things that don’t feel good, you will know what road you choose.
Every day is a new opportunity to make a new choice.
Love and light
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