There is a myth that love is all about romance. Romance is a simplified understanding of what is fully expressed when the idea of love is expanded. I am learning that when we focus on the sexual aspects of love we close the door to many other aspects.
There is nothing intimate to sex although the act of sex and becomes a portal to intimacy. It can unlock openings in our being that access our connection to others and God. It allows a person to see past the physicality of a person into the depths of their innermost caverns that hold space for possibility.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing better than a night of hot, passionate unbridled sex with someone that you are in a romantic relationship with. But there is nothing more healing and expansive that an encounter with someone past the physical aspects of sex. There are levels to the complexities of human connection.
When a man touches my body I become excited, my breath becomes shorted and I become hot all over. What also happens is the mental gymnastics of my fears and insecurities. I wonder a plethora of things like how do look laying down. Does he think I think I am pretty? What is he thinking when he looks at my fat body? How long do I have to stay in this position? You know, all the things that don’t matter when his head is between your legs. But your ego is all its love for chaos, asks anyway.
When it comes to an encounter of intimacy, the ego is tamed and our bodies disappear. We move into a space of pure unexplainable passion. Places are touched in our soul that magnify our connections to not just our partner but to ourselves. It takes me to a place of pure freedom and release. In those moments I release all of my insecurities, fears, and thoughts of inadequacy to just be deep on the truth of what love is.
It feels the spaces between breathing and if it seems as if we become on undefinable being. We lose all of our curves, edges, and inhibitions. Nothing blocks my soul from him and we see each other from the inside out. Time becomes reductive as hours seem like just a second. Nothing needs to be said or heard because in this space there is not a word.
Unraveling everything we have been taught by society and the example of our parents and family is something that we have to be willing to let go of. To form an undefinable cast of what the potentiality of what the truth of love is. We must collapse our many definitions of love into just one category and that is intimacy.
If we added intimacy into every category of our lives then we would have different conversations, we would marry different people, we would see the depths of ourselves and we would respect humanity and the earth in an entirely new way. Because we would recognize that it is really all just us. That every aspect of life that we see outside of ourselves is just a microcosm of the inner world that is within each of us. Because when you see intimately into your soul you automatically see the connection of all souls birthing tethered compassion.
I realized for must that the quest for romance was like feeding an addiction but the experience of intimacy was how I feed my soul. Romance just cracks the door to a spiritual experience that if understood could heal the masses one encounter at a time.
Founder, Black Women Amplified and Amplified 360
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